that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have fence marks all over my body
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
