More tranny stories later!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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