I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
