they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
