It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
