Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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