I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
