My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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