whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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