It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
