...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
