So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
