you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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