but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
