SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize