So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
