oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
birth control should be required to get into college
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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