If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
