Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
