I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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