Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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