oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
one two three fourrrrnication!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
