You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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