i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
