Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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