dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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