My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
