we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
