I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
