3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
