I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
