i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think people are normalizing furries
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