STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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