There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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