I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
