omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just had sex bonerless
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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