I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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