Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
