I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What changed your mind?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.