I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.