K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.