I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
