dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
