I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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