Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
