My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have aggressive nipples.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
