i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize