where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
