Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
false alarm, still single
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