I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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