why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
