my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
