He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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