I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
