Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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