I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
