The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
