I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm always down for nudity.
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