the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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