I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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