So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
