I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
