Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
