there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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