Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
